I got better. I want to do my best.

I woke up this morning, lying on my bed, thinking.

Vaginasaurus Sex.

Yes. I would like to have people call me that. LOL. Random much.

Studying? Hmm…getting it through bit by bit laaaa…HEE.

I want to give it my all. I hate it when I can’t make you feel better or smile, such a failure. I want to make this work. Don’t make it another deja-vu. =)

EDIT:

wow, really deja-vu. I think, I’m done for this time. Why was I so eager to trust in myself again? What’s my mantra again?…oh, right:

I’ll never get what I want.

Bye.

I shall take off this mask now.

Wow. You stun me to no end. Tsk.

Why? you ask. Such nerve, for you to utter that single word. Such raw nerve. Tsk.

This reminded me that you’re not the person I thought you were. Tsk.

 

Oh… had fun with my dear sister Vivian today. Went all the way to Mont Kiara just to find a place to chillax and drink. And you know me, a guy with a car driving at night, bound to get lost or take a wrong turning. Yea, we did, ended up in Mont Kiara after 2 attempts.

Then after chilling, we wanted to head home la…

‘eh…take left here.’

‘Sure ar?’

‘Yes, turn turn turn.’

‘ok ok ok…’

So we were driving, or more like I was behind the wheel, and cars were zooming past us on the opposite lane. Normal la. two way street.

or so we thought.

Because there were cars in front of us, swerving to the other lane as we drove down the road. And i was shouting at them: ‘SOHAI LA! STICK TO YOUR OWN LANE!’

‘Eh…korkor…look at the road, the arrow points the opposite way la…’

‘…’

together now: ‘SHIT!’

I am going to hit the books tomorrow. Goodnight.

you just gotta love these graphs. So accurate.

ICPU. I Can PWNZ U?

Wow, another chapter of my life has just ended. Only two words to describe ICPU:

Abrupt end.

No seriously, I don’t feel like ICPU is ending. It was only 2 days ago that my friend reminded me: OMG VICTOR, WE’RE NOT GOING TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN AFTER WEDNESDAY!

And then it hit me. Hard.

College was definitely an eye-opener to me. It taught me lots of things, besides academically. I mean, I think it served as a reminder than a lesson. It reminded me of things I should’ve done, reminded me of who I should be and what I shouldn’t be doing, and reminded me that everything is not always a bed of roses.

I enjoyed my college life, no doubt about that. I loved going to campus early in the morning, searching for an empty locker to use. I loved the classes, because they were something completely new and refreshing for me. I loved the friends I made, because they reminded me that I’m still a big kid at heart. I love how sociable everyone was in the programme. I loved the lunch breaks, because we’ll be arguing and deciding WHERE TO EAT every single college day.

Yet, the life I had in college wasn’t always sunshine and clotted cream. I had my fair share of pains. Hated the over-complicated assignments, hated when the lecturers gave me low marks, and I hate that there are some things that should’ve have been dealt with and wrapped up, but ended up hanging there, unresolved. Well, it’s probably too late to rectify any mistakes, or get any issues straightened out. Though honestly, I would love to talk about it…at least, you know, just talk about it. That’s all.

But the laughs and randomness experienced every friggin day made everything count. It was worth it. Fun to the max. =)

I’ll miss ICPU. I’ll miss the fun times. But most of all, I’ll miss the friends I made. They’re like, the most awesomest bunch of people you can ever get to meet. 1 year is too short for us, and I would’ve loved to have more time to get to know you guys so much more better. We had our moments, we had our fun. I’ll remember that, and that’s what matters. Good luck to you guys! One last meet up on Graduation Day!!

Sigh.

I’ll deal. Knowing that everyone will be going their separate ways soon. I’ll deal. I’m a very emotionally attached person, and I’m not really good at expressing myself.

Oh let’s not forget, today someone’s celebrating their 17th Birthday! Someone whom I hold very dear too!

BUNNY LOW YEE AUN! Happy Happy Happy Birthday to you!!! All the best in your exams and life. You’ve been a sister to me, and always will be. It’s ok la, you’re not THAT short, just fun-sized. *snicker* Love you.

And so, this post shall end now.

You said you loved me. You said it.

Pretty much self-explanatory. Sigh. I can’t believe I’m still working on my assignments when school’s gonna end tomorrow. I am a fucking failure.

No sleep tonight.

Revelations. They come in packs. Pick a size.

Some times, we need to test our eye sight. Lol.

Today, I was playing pool with kawans la, after so long of not playing, I realized how sucky I’ve become.

But that’s not the point. I was sorta…well, while watching the balls get hit and rolling all over the table, I sorta saw my life as that scenario. I know, I know, it doesn’t make sense, but then again, most parts of my life just leave me dumbfounded and speechless. Suck on that, cockfags.

Imagine I’m the white ball, or cue ball as they call it. It’s like, I’m hitting other balls, hoping to get close to them, to touch them. Sometimes I do, sometimes I miss. But when I do make contact with another ball, it just rolls away. And there are times when I roll with it, but the ball goes into the pockets. Gone. Other times, I want to hit a specific ball, miss, hit others, or get knocked away.

…

Wow. Randomness to the max. Ignore me.

Oh, and I watched 2012 last week. Pretty awesome movie. Got me paranoid now. Heck, I was actually emotionally moved when this guy was saying something like ‘Who do you call one last time before you go?’ It got me wondering, if I were going to die…and I died without saying the things I wanted to say…damn. I would definitely cry in hell.

I actually cried a little after reading our past convo’s. heh.

I should be doing my assignments now. >.<

HalleluYah.

It’s Sunday morning, thank God there’s no rain falling. lol.

OK, I’m gonna finish up my conflict report, CCA Law and shoot a stupid QOL video.

Shouldn’t be hard right?

…

fuck me.

It’s not like I care, in fact, I don’t even want to look at you. I’m just still angry and hurt over the things done and said to me. Fullstop.

I miss you. A lot. I don’t even know what to say anymore.

And, don’t give up before we can even start.

Smoke in the air and ashes on the ground.

Probably because this isn’t the first time.

Hell, I hate faltering at the last step. I always do.

I am desensitized. Big time.

castrate me.

and the little voice in my head…just talks too much. shut up already.